Several weeks ago I was sitting with my (28 year old) son in a great outdoor restaurant in Santa Monica. We were enjoying really good Mexican food and just talking about our day to day issues. I asked him how things were going with his boyfriend, when it suddenly struck me that such a conversation would not be possible between many fathers and sons. It also struck me that I can't understand why not? It amazes and disgusts me that there are fathers out there who disavow or reject their gay sons. I just don't get it.
My son is gay. That's not some sort of cathartic thing or an understanding that I have come to after much thought and consideration. In fact accepting him as gay was so surprisingly easy that I am dumbfounded that any father ever has any problem accepting that of any of their children. I mean, what in the hell is the problem with the parents who struggle with their children being gay? What is the big deal? Why is it even an issue?
If a parent has a gay child (and I honestly mean this sincerely) what is the problem with accepting it? I mean it's not like it makes you a better or worse parent. It's not like it makes them a better or worse child. I would suspect that the bulk of the time when a child comes out to their parent that parent was already pretty damned sure that the child in question was gay anyway, so it's not like it's a surprise.
I guess that there can be some religious issues, but think of it this way. If your religion states that you must reject one of your children because of the person they were born as, then maybe it's your religion that's wrong and not your child or your love for them. Your child was born gay. Would you stay with a religious doctrine that says you have to reject your child if they were born left-handed? Would you stay with that doctrine if it said you have to reject a child born with red hair or green eyes?
Talk to me...please. Tell me you'll accept your child no matter their orientation...or give me a really good reason not to.
I love my son. I don't love him anymore or less because he is gay and I wouldn't love him any more or less if he was straight. I love him because he is my son and I am his father and his sexual orientation is irrelevant. What I can't understand are the parents who make their children's sexual orientation an issue in the first place. I confess, I just don't get that. Perhaps someone could explain it to me? I am just so glad and so proud that he has turned out to be the great young man that he has (and his mother deserves ALL of the credit!). When he comes home for Thanksgiving after settling into a permanent relationship (and, um, soon?) I don't care that it'll be another young man sitting beside him and he'll be welcomed into our home as my son's partner. All I care about when it comes to him, is that he finds happiness and someone to share it with.
Can anyone tell me why I should feel otherwise or why they would? I'm posting this under politics, because gay rights really are a political issue and so is gay acceptance. Having a gay son or daughter is personal, but it's also a political issue in how YOU deal with it.